"American Indian the FORGOTTEN MINORITY "



Saturday, February 2, 2013

My Mother's Passing

Well, several of you knew about my mother and her illness of dementia along with the heart attack and strokes she had.

Mother's journey came to an end Jan. 5th, 2013. She no longer has to struggle or hurt with any pain. We cremated her which was her wish the next day Jan. 6th, 2013. She was 86 yrs. old, she and my dad were married for 65 yrs. in Nov. of 2012.

My mother was an artist and oh how she could draw, paint and just do any thing when it came to art. She used pastels, oils, charcoal, acrylics, it didn't matter what it was, she could do it.
She also taught her self how to sew back when I was a little girl. Mother became so good she made her own patterns for the clothes she would make and for the customs she made for several of our friends in the circus world. She also made formals/patterns and just about anything she wanted or anyone ask for.

The only thing she didn't do very good at was cooking and especially baking. We gave her a hard time about that in fun and joking around. Mother would do her best at baking but never could do a good job when it came down to it. I don't know why, but her talents laid in her art and her sewing.

Mother drew a portrait of my husband from a picture I had of him before he was killed in an accident. He had his USCG uniform on and he was so very handsome, well mother decided she would draw him and when she was through...it was WOW!
Then she drew one of our daughter from a picture I had taken of her when she was about three I think, and it was beautiful!

Mother did a lot of stuff for the Eastern Star and the Masonic Lodge, when they needed anything in an artful way, they would holler for mother. Dad was always so proud of her being an artist and the things she could do.

I didn't know what it was to have store bought clothes until I started to jr. high school, because mother always made my clothes. She would make everything to match right down to my slips and can-cans. (which is what we called them back then). I had scarfs and little bag type purses to match each outfit, plus she trimmed out my socks to match what ever I had to wear.

It was no secret that my mother and I didn't get along for the most part of my life. I took
care of her from the time she had the heart attack until her death. I had to be the one to tell her she couldn't drive anymore and make sure she didn't. Dad had to stop her from cooking on the stove.
They had butane and she would forget she had put something on to cook and would go read a book
or be working on some other project that she thought she had to do and the house would fill with smoke and the pans burnt, not to mention the food.

Although through out the almost four years and everything mother went through, she never forgot
who dad was, not one time! Mother actually did manage to keep a bit of her brain from going all the way to the finally level with the dementia. How she did it the doctors aren't sure, but then again with mother things weren't ever normal (if you will). There were several times when the doctors said she was down for the count...not going to make it through the week, if she made it a couple of days.
Low and behold mother would prove them wrong, every time...except for this time.

I was with mother for every step of the way with every thing that did happen to and with her. There was only one time for a few seconds that mother forgot my name, but that was ok. I really didn't mind
because I knew what she was going through and what she would go through in the future. I read, talked to doctors, researched the internet to know all about everything the illness or disease of dementia would do to her. Not for me as much as for my dad, so in some small way I could help him to understand and maybe protect him, hopefully even give him some cushioning...away to prepare for the inevitable.

During all of this time I had to deal with hurt caused by my mother through out my lifetime and find a way to forgive her, and I really didn't know whether I could actually do it or not. But I did pray, alot and I did forgive some but not all, but I also learned as time went by and watching her going through so much, that I was slowly forgiving her. I know that the Lord was there throughout all of this and I seriously couldn't have done it if not for him helping me and showing me how, but not only for her as much as for me, myself...how badly I needed to forgive her!

So I say now, mother thank you for the good times we had, even though they were very far and few. I have learned you did the best you could with what you had to go by. I have learned your life growing up was not a good one either, and some of the things that happened to you. I am sorry you had to go through what you did and that you were treated the way you were. I want you to know mother you did have worth, you were so very talented, and I know in your own ways you and dad did love each other and you even loved me in your own way.

Before you passed, you knew I was there with you and when you reached for my hand, held it like you did and snuggled it up to you neck the way you did, I felt the love you were showing me then and I thank you mother for that. It did mean so much to me, and I hope you felt mine.

Your with the Lord now looking down on us here, now you can show us the love you couldn't show before. Your up there with Bobby, your mother, grandma and grandpa and others that we love. Please know you were loved and will be missed until we are up there with you.

Thank you every one that has called, sent cards and came by, my family and I greatly appreciate it so much. God Bless each of you.