"American Indian the FORGOTTEN MINORITY "

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,
I hope each of your are able to spend at least some of the holidays with
your families and or friends.

I pray that God wraps his loving arms around you and keeps you and your
safe and blesses you in every way. I hope your health, your job, family,
friends, your love...what ever it might be all comes together for you and
you get the happiness you want.

I THANK OUR TROOPS/MILITARY that's in all corners of the world doing
their jobs for us, protecting us, keeping us safe from harm and F-R-E-E!
IS...OUR FREEDOM! And because of these BRAVE people and their families
we have out FREEDOM!

I pray God/Lord Jesus wraps his loving arms around each of them and blesses
each one and their families, that they are kept safe! I thank each of them for what
they are having to go through and the terrible conditions they are having to endure
in some areas. I thank each of their families for what they are doing and the HARD
SHIPS that they are having to go through also. I pray that it does get better for each
of them and that their loved ones come home safe to them.

I pray if you are by yourself this holiday season that you will remember you are loved
by some one out there.You might not know them yet but you will so please do not give
up! (But never forget that God/Jesus is always there for you and loves you deeply and fiercely!)

Most of all PLEASE remember the REASON for the season, not to buy as much as you
can for whom ever, or to spent/out spent on everything you buy, not to make yourself
look like a big shot, or go into debit (and make finances harder) /or more debit!

The reason is for "JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!"

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Wild Hogs in the Trap

Today I went with my son and my dad to see the wild hogs that were trapped. This time there were several babies in with the others, one I think was the mama to some, maybe all of the babies. My son traps and sells the hogs or kills and butcher's them. My dad helps with the trapping sometimes, he thinks that nothing can be
done with out him...he is 83 yrs. old and it is hard for him to stay on the side line now. He can't stop doing what he does but he isn't a young man any more either and just can't give it up.

My son is holding one of the babies to keep it from getting out of the pin through the small spaces like a couple of the others did. They had gotten the others but a few of the babies loaded up in the trailer and were trying to load the babies.

Jerry held up another one so I could get a better picture of it. They are so cute but will bite you in a nano second and will go to the bone.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Mayo Clinic able to keep American Indian and Alaska Native Program

Mayo Clinic Receives $6 Million Grant to Expand Outreach to Native Americans

By Michelle Tirado · 12/06/2010 · No comments

Health · The Mayo Clinic Cancer Center has received a five-year, $6 million Community Networks Program Center grant from the National Cancer Institute (NCI) to further develop its cancer health disparities outreach within American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN) communities.

The funding will help the Mayo Clinic expand its Spirit of E.A.G.L.E.S. program, founded in 2000. One of 18 NCI-funded special population networks developed to support culturally appropriate cancer control activities, it created a national consortium of about 200 members, which includes AI/AN community representatives and students, cancer advocacy groups and academic cancer centers.

As the program expands, it will focus on comprehensive cancer control, including translational research, clinical trials and continued community-based participatory research.

Specifically, the NCI grant will allow the clinic to conduct research in Alaska and Wisconsin, as well as help formalize the Hampton Faculty Fellows Program to mentor the next generation of Native American cancer control researchers.

The Mayo Clinic’s Native American Programs director (and one of only two American Indian medical oncologists in the country), Judith Kaur, M.D., said in a press release, “This grant will enable us to build upon the important community outreach and research that we have been dedicated to over the past three decades.”

Thursday, December 9, 2010

New Favorite Singer!!!!

I heard this guy for the first time this wk-end, his name is Johnny Reid and so far every
song I have heard I absolutely love of his. The one below "A Woman Like You" is so
good and so is "Dance With Me" oh man but the top one I think is "Thank You"...
that song is GREAT! But as I said everyone I have heard so far of his are! Yep, I do
believe I have found me a new favorite singer in this Johnny Reid!!!!! You need to check out
"Darlin'," and "Love Sweet Love"...oh hell, just listen to all of them that is listed on Youtube.
His website is JohnnyReid.com

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Cherokee Link Newsletter

CherokeeLink Newsletter
For The HTML Format of the Newsletter:

(Having Problems With The Links? Try this version instead.) http://www.cherokee.org/home.aspx?section=newsletter& Date=11/22/2010

AOL - 11/22/2010 Newsletter
Christmas is fast approaching, and it is time again to "adopt an angel" from the Cherokee Nation Angel Tree in the lobby of the W.W. Keeler Tribal Complex in Tahlequah. The public is invited to come out and adopt angels to help make someone's Christmas a little brighter. Get the details here: http://www.cherokee.org/NewsRoom/FullStory/3410/Page/Default.aspx

Do you use the transit system between Tahlequah and surrounding communities? The "Park and Ride" program makes it very inexpensive to commute to and from areas within the Cherokee Nation. See a complete list of communities and schedules at: http://www.cherokee.org/Services/437/Page/Default.aspx

Cherokee Nation College Resources department can help you find sources for funding including student loans, work-study programs and scholarships. Information on scholarships is available here: http://www.cherokee.org/Services/297/Page/Default.aspx

Wado! (Thank you)

Cherokee Nation

P.O.Box 948

Tahlequah, OK 74465

918 453-5000



***Cherokee Nation News***


Cherokee Nation Develops Virtual Library: 11/19/2010

(C) Cherokee Nation

The Cherokee Nation is in the beginning stages of developing a Virtual Library of Cherokee Knowledge, a web-based system designed to provide Cherokee citizens and the general public access to a comprehensive digital space filled with authentic Cherokee knowledge related to the tribe’s history, language, traditions, culture and leaders.


Cherokee Nation Gives Angels a Merry Christmas: 11/19/2010

(C) Cherokee Nation

Christmas is fast approaching, and it is time again to consider adopting an angel from the Cherokee Nation Angel Tree. The 2010 Cherokee Nation Angel Tree event will kick off with a fun program in the lobby of the main tribal complex Tuesday, Nov. 23 at 4 p.m. The fully decorated Angel Tree will be revealed at that time and the public is invited to come out and adopt angels. There will be music, a benediction and refreshments. Those in attendance will be eligible for door prizes.


Nation Partners with Kenwood Community on Self-Help Project: 11/18/2010 8:10:00 AM

(C) Cherokee Nation

The Cherokee Nation has partnered with the Kenwood Community Association the past few weeks to restore a local property that is much more than just a building to the Kenwood community. Cherokee Nation Community Services group awarded a Community Works grant to the Kenwood community in the amount of $40,000 for the restoration of their community building. This is a self-help project in which community members do a majority of the work with the help of Cherokee Nation employees and other volunteers.


Supreme Court Rules Districting Unconstitutional: 11/18/2010

(C) Cherokee Nation

The Cherokee Nation’s Supreme Court has declared the latest plan to create council districts within the Cherokee Nation to be unconstitutional. The court ruled the districts as adopted by the Tribal Council did not meet the Constitutional mandate of having a “reasonably equal division of citizenship among the districts.”


Cherokee Nation Announces Changes to Sallisaw to Tahlequah Transit Route: 11/17/2010 2:08:00 PM

(C) Cherokee Nation

The KATS Tahlequah/Sallisaw route will no longer be running to Cherokee Casino-Tahlequah and the Cookson United Methodist Church. However, a new stop at the Cherokee Nation Environmental Protection building has been added to the schedule.


Cherokee Nation seeks riders for 2011 Remember the Removal event : 11/17/2010 9:06:00 AM

(C) Cherokee Nation

Cherokee Nation is accepting applications from students wishing to participate in its annual cross-country bike and history trek over the summer of 2011. Next year’s Remember the Removal ride begins the first week of June, and while that may seem far into the future, those wishing to participate in the ride need to apply and start preparing for it now. “It’s a 950 mile ride to teach leadership. Students learn about themselves through a vivid experience and learn to endure,” said Cherokee Nation Principal Chief Chad Smith, who has twice participated in Remember the Removal.


Cherokee Challenge Supports Great American Smoke Out: 11/17/2010

(C) Cherokee Nation

While individuals across America are making the effort to stop smoking on Thursday as part of the Great American Smoke Out, people from across the Cherokee Nation and throughout northeastern Oklahoma are taking advantage of the Cherokee Challenge. While much of the focus thus far has been on getting proper exercise and combating obesity, another point is the danger of commercial tobacco use.


Ninth Consecutive Financial Excellence Award for Cherokee Nation: 11/15/2010 3:19:00 PM

(C) Cherokee Nation

For the ninth consecutive year, the Cherokee Nation has been awarded the Certificate of Achievement for Excellence in Financial Reporting by the Government Finance Officers Association. This award is given only to those government institutions that have the highest levels of transparency and accountability. A panel of GFOA financial industry experts judges the annual reports of government agencies throughout North America and awards only those who are the most deserving the CAFR.




**** Other Links of Interest ****


Games - http://www.cherokee.org/home.aspx?section=culture&culture=games

Community Calendar - http://www.cherokee.org/home.aspx?section=calendar

RSS Feed - http://rss.cherokee.org/

Podcasts - http://podcasts.cherokee.org/

E-Cards - http://ecards.cherokee.org/


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Falmouth Institute is presenting Indian Country Training Summit

                                                         DON'T MISS THIS SUMMIT!

Join us next week, December 6-10, 2010, for our biggest training event of the year -- Falmouth Institute's Indian Country Training Summit, a week of learning, networking and fun at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas!

For detailed information about the Training Summit, Indian Board Members Conference or exhibiting at the event, please click here, or call 1-800-992-4489.

This dynamic conference is great for both seasoned board and council members, as well as the new members. Three general sessions and six unique and exciting workshops will provide you with important legal updates, new skills and valuable networking opportunities.
Join Falmouth for one or more of our 11 valuable public training sessions covering the following subject areas: construction, finance, gaming, governing, human resources, law, social services, and more!
Enhance your career and increase your earning potential. Prepare for the national certification coding exam by attending this brand new boot camp for tribal health professionals!

Sorry the images didn't copy over, but you can go to the Falmouth's website and get more info. http://www.falmouthinstitute.com/

Quechan Tribe Files Suit to Halt Massive Solar Project


By Michelle Tirado · 11/03/2010 ·
Alternative Energy, Federal Agencies, Law · Tagged: solar

The Quechan Tribe has filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Department of the Interior in federal court in San Diego to prevent a major solar project in Imperial Valley from moving forward, as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune on Nov. 2.

The project, known as the Imperial Valley Solar Project, was approved by the federal government last month. Located 95 miles east of San Diego, the 10-square-mile, 709-megawatt solar farm will provide San Diego Gas & Electric with a significant amount of green power.

The 3,500-member tribe contends that the project will damage archeological sites and wildlife habitat, specifically that of the flat-tailed horned lizard, which has a part in the tribe’s creation stories.

Although the tribe voiced its concerns during the Bureau of Land Management project review, it says they
were “ignored by bureaucrats and not passed on to decision makers.”
The tribe is asking the court to overturn the Interior’s approval as well as for an injunction to keep construction from starting.

“Destruction or damage to any one cultural resource contributes to destruction of the Tribe’s culture, history and religion,” the paper quoted the tribe as saying in the suit.
The project, should it go forward, would create 900 construction jobs and, when complete, would provide power to 213,000 to 531,000 homes (when the sun is shining).

**(this article comes from the American Indian Report, I have enclosed it's web site above)**

Amazing photos of Storms/Tornados

 This is a wall cloud that has covered most of this city. (or neighborhood)
Would not want to see a tornado come out of this one.

  I definitely would not want to be standing at the end of that lighting strike. (WOW...WHAT A FEELING FOR SURE!) LOL
I like to watch lighting, it can be so beautiful with all of the different shapes it takes and how far it can go through the sky or down to the earth like it does. How several strikes can arm off of one big one at times and seems like it just takes up the whole sky. Of course being somewhere totally safe is something else again.

 I honestly don't know if this is a cloud bank/wall cloud or if it's the mouth of a tornado. It looks to me like the latter one for sure and it has a mighty BIG MOUTH OR TAIL which ever. At any rate it is very scary to me! This looks as if an F5 maybe or to me, but I'm not a weather person.

Now this one can and does speak for itself...this
tornado is HUGH and looks like something out of
a scary movie to me! I don't know which F classification this would be given, but it looks as if it would be at least an F4 I would think.

This cloud/storm came up while some sort of a school activity was going on. You would not have to tell me once that I needed to leave, I would already be gone...lol!

I do think all of these pictures are so amazing, and I did not take them but I think whom ever did, did a fantastic job of each one. This is what I would call being in the right place at the right time.
I hope you have enjoyed this photos, I like finding things like this and showing them to others, I know I don't get to see unusual, amazing, fantastic, weird, crazy or beautiful things that happens out in the world all the time unless someone is there to take a picture or to write about it. So I just thought I would let it be enjoyed by others also.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reported from the Cherokee Phoenix

November celebrates Native American heritage


TAHLEQUAH, Okla. – In 1990, President George H.W. Bush approved a joint resolution designating November as National American Indian Heritage Month. Since then, proclamations such as Native American Heritage Month and National American Indian and Alaska Native Heritage Month have been issued.

To celebrate National American Indian Heritage Month, the Cherokee Nation has held events the past several years, but this year it will focus on storytelling.

“The reason we wanted to do this is to celebrate and tell our story, educate our citizens and provide them with information, attributes, knowledge and share it with them,” said Todd Enlow, CN Leadership group leader. “The main focus of this year’s event is teaching our attributes and values through storytelling as well as teaching part of our history through stories. We’re sharing our culture and our wisdom through storytelling.”

In 2011, Enlow said the tribe plans to focus more on traditional games.

According to the National American Indian Heritage Month website, the search for Native American recognition, before 1990, started just as wanting one day to make known contributions Native Americans made to the establishment and growth of the United States.

For many years, many people and groups tried to gain acknowledgement of Native Americans. One person was Dr. Arthur C. Parker, a Seneca Indian. Parker was the director of the Museum of Arts and Science in Rochester, N.Y., who persuaded the Boy Scouts of America to set aside a day for the “First Americans.”

In 1915, the annual Congress of the American Indian Association formally approved a plan concerning American Indian Day. It directed its president, Rev. Sherman Coolidge, an Arapahoe, to issue a proclamation to observe such a day. Coolidge issued the proclamation on Sept. 28, 1915, which declared the second Saturday of each May as an American Indian Day and contained the first formal appeal for recognition of Native Americans as citizens.

The year before this proclamation was issued, Red Fox James, a Blackfoot, rode horseback from state to state seeking approval for a day to honor Native Americans. On Dec. 14, 1915, he presented the support of 24 state governments at the White House. There is no record on whether a national day was proclaimed due to his efforts. 
You can also go to the web site of   http://www.cherokee.org/  and  http://cherokeephoenix.org/   
to get more info!
I will be putting more info up here and there about this and our other holidays we have.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Cougar in Northern Lights

    This cougar is such a beautiful animal and with the Northern Lights in it's back ground, it's amazing!
     (I DID NOT WRITE THE POEM) I am sorry I do not have the name the person that did.

Mountains in Montana

I just threw these in here cause I thought they were beautiful, I will do that from time to time!

The Tetons Mountain Range

                                     Snow water falls, I think these are beautiful!                                                            

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Not Undersdstanding God!

I know God has a sense of humor and I know God has a temper! I know God has his ways of making us understand when he is trying to teach us something or tell us what he wants us to do or not do even though he gave us the choice of free will. I know God does answer prayers and does not answer prayers (for our  own good). I know God has his way of disciplining us and he also blesses us.

But I am having a real problem with why does God lets people suffer that are sick and will not be getting well. Babies that are born so sick for what ever the reason, that will not live to be months, weeks, or even hours old before they die, mentally handicapped with sever mental and physical problems that might not have a loved one to help take care of them, that are left alone. Or the elderly that have alzheimer and /or dementia and get to the point that they can't understand what is going on, that they are in pain and can't tell anyone that they are and how bad it is.

I see the elderly people at the nursing home where my mother is at and what they are going through with the illnesses they have and 96% of them do not have any one that comes to see them, to check on them, to see if there is anything they need or would like to have, to just bring some little something to them. Even their families stop coming for the most part, they don't have time, or they don't want to see the family member in the shape that they are in, or they are just to lazy and or just don't care. Oh yes, or the ones that do come far and few between are coming to make sure if there is anything of property, money, or some kind of financial gain then they want to make sure they are the first in line to get what ever they can!

My mother and I are not close and never have been, and it's so ironically funny that I am the one having to take care of her...I said I never would that my brother or her family could, but what a JOKE that was! I still do not want to be the one taking care of her but my dad can not do it because he's not able to take care of himself let alone her too! So I am care taker of both my parents. My dad at this time is still able to live at home by him self (for the most part) but I don't think that is gonna be for much longer and he does not want to go to a nursing home!

My mother has dementia and is getting worse, she doesn't understand what is happening and going on much of the time, she is getting to where she is having trouble getting around physically and her speech is going down hill in a hurry. She is more and more now freaking out because she does not know where she is, she thinks she is lost most of the time and that dad are I won't be able to find her. She really starts to get bad when she doesn't see dad or me everyday and she will start fighting any one and every one and let me tell you she is still TOUGH...this old woman can and has beat the crap out of most the staff at the nursing home and ME!

But I also know the way she is and the way she was, well as far as being mean as hell that hasn't changed...
she was mean as hell before she got sick and is still mean as hell! What I don't understand is the pain she's in and with what she is going through in not knowing people, things, not able to remember anything or under standing, why is she having to go through this, especially at this point? There is not a lesson for her to learn, she's not capable of learning anything anymore. She is not going to get better or well, she is only going to get worse mentally, physically, emotionally and pain wise. She will get to a point to where she will not be able to move any more, not walk, not turn from side to side laying in bed, not able to sit up, will not be able to even eat any more. She will have to be fed through a tube and turned like a piece of meat to keep from getting sores.

My mother is not the only one that is or has to go through this and my question is WHY!!!!!

Why can't is she being kept around? Today I permed her hair for her after if finally got long enough to so it looked so much better now compared to what it looked like after that so called beauty operator at the nursing home got a hole of it and cut it...it was so bad, I have never seen a dog with a hair cut as bad as this was! It had big chucks cut here and there out of it and it also looked as if she even took some clippers and hit a few spots with them, then the top of her hair looked like a hit and miss 4 in. crook it mohawk. NOPE NOT LYING A BIT!!! So had to wait for most of it to grow out some to be able to cut it so it looked some what decent, and let it grow more and all together it has taken more than 2 1/2 months to get it so I could perm it, now next week or so I will get it trimmed up and she will will be looking so much better as far as her hair goes. But I did have to tell her that after this as hard as it was on her and to perm her hair that from now on it will have to bed cut short and kept like that, but not to worry because that other person would not be the one to cut it any more! Today was so hard on her that after I got thru with her hair she got into bed and went right to sleep. (It was very hard on me also)

Mother can't talk any more to where you can understand her or even for the most part know what she is even saying. She hasn't been hardly talking in a few weeks now, and there for about 2 wks she wasn't even really eating, but it seems like her appetite has picked up some and I am glad to see that. Dad and I were starting to get more worried about her. I do feel like she might be going down hill more and dad was talking to one of the nurses and they felt the same way as we do. But who really knows we do not, only God does when it comes right down to it!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Another Summer Gone

I really hate for summer to come to an end, I love all of God's beautiful
work with nature and all of the beautiful colors. The only problem I had
with summer this year was my allergies started acting up more than
normal and it did get hotter than it normally does even for Texas.

But I am looking forward to winter more now because I love my
fireplace and I am counting the days till I can use it. I guess I should
not be rushing through any of the days winter or summer, but I don't think
it's me rushing as fast as it is the time it self...it seems like I no more than
blink an eye or maybe even just turn around and BAM it's another week
or month that has just flown by. I am told this happens after you reach a
certain age! I use to think that was just a joke but I think I am believing
it more and more now.

I try to pick out certain things I want to remember most that happened
during the summer but it seems like I want to remember pretty much
everything for some reason, even having to take my mother or dad to
the hospital for what ever the emergency was.
I guess when a person does get older that you don't want to forget
anything for fear you will not have those memories to draw on when you
do get older or start to have trouble with your mind and being able to
remember your hopes, dreams, and the good things that happened to you
and the ones you love so much!

I also think that with my mother having Dementia and everything that has
happened to her, and my dad having memory troubles now that I'm scared
I am in for the same problems and I want to try and remember as much as
I can and hopefully be able to tuck those memories so deep inside that if I
do end up with the same problems as my parents that some how I will be able
to draw upon my deepest part of and pull out all of the beautiful memories
and they will sustain me through the roughest part of getting older or dealing
with Dementia, Alzheimer or strokes if I do have to go through any of those
horrible things.

Although I will not actually have my dad's health problems so to speak of
because I found out he really isn't my father, on the other hand I do not
know exactly what other health issues I will have as far as that goes.
Be that as it may you take what ya get I guess and do the best ya can
with it.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Northern Lights

I love the northern lights, I think they are so very beautiful and would love to be able to go and see them in person. I just wanted to add some of the pictures I found online of the northern lights and hope whom ever comes by my blog enjoys seeing them also.

The colors are so vivid and bright, the hues are just beautiful with patterns that the lights go into.

The greens and the reds in these two pictures show elements of the other shades of the main colors.

 This one you see the reds (pinkish really) trying to come up and  also see maybe very light yellowish/orange colors in the middle like coming up and moving out.

I think these pictures, well any pictures of the Northern Lights are so amazingly beautiful!
It just shows one more thing of beauty and another
totally AWESOME thing that GOD can and does do! (and I never use the word awesome in any form unless I am talking about God/Jesus Christ. To me that word is reserved only for him!)

The picture here to right not only has  more colors with the reds, and greens but you can also see the yellow and the white with touch of orange coming in at the bottom part. There is also a pattern outline in black in the middle coming up from the bottom and spreading out further to one side it seems like.

The pictures I did get off the internet when I was looking for pictures of Northern Lights, I pulled up the caches and these were some that were showing
among others. So I am not sure who took these and the credit goes to, but I don't think I am stepping on any one's toes by showing these beautiful pictures. If I am I am very sorry because I certainly haven't meant to.

Friday, August 13, 2010

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love
for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love.
 So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
(Wish I could take the credit for this one but I can not...I hope you enjoy it as much as I do)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Blue Bonnets

These pictures are so beautiful to me. I don't remember where or who
they came from, but were sent to me
in an email and I kept them.

I wish I had the name of who took them so I could give them the credit for taking them and for how beautiful the pictures are.

I think blue bonnets are so pretty anyway, and to see just a field of nothing but the blue bonnets are so amazing to me, especially when no has tromped them down to take a picture of their dog or child in the middle of them.
 I mean who wants to see where all of beautiful flowers have been stomped to death in the pictures just to see a kid that's crying most of the time or a poor dog having to sit there just so the parent or master can get a picture of them? I for one don't, but that's just me I guess.

This picture here is my favorite, I think because of the blue bonnets and the Indian paint brushes together. I really like the Indian paint brushes, guess every since I was a little girl and saw my very first one. I also really like trees and with the beautiful flowers and the trees along with the fog laced thru-out, well I guess it does speak for itself!
I hardly ever see blue bonnets with very many wild flowers around them, especially red in color. Beside the Indian paint brushes being red, I think the red and blue are so pretty together.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mother's heart attack

My mother had another heart attack last week, the doctor called it a lite one.
She is doing better and was able to go back to the nursing home the next
evening. She is still having some trouble breathing but over all is better.
At least this time she didn't torment everyone (nurses especially when she
had to spend the night). She actually acted very good. Before when she's
ended up in the hospital she has been a real pain in the back side!
She would not listen to anyone, she would cuss any and everyone, she would
also kick, hit, bite what ever she could do to get her way. There were a few
times she had to be strapped down because of the way she would act and the
things she would do.
The only excuse for part of it is because of the dementia, but also the other
reason is because she is just plain mean as hell! There is no getting around that!

For anyone that may be interested in information on heart attack I have added some on my other
blog at http://www.stepitupwithleslye.blogspot.com/ 
I just added some small tid-bits on strokes and cardiac arrest also, the web site to go to find out
more info is http://www.heart.org/  (American Heart Associate)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Knots Prayer

                               Dear God,    
                      Please untie the knots,
                      that are in my mind, my
                      heart and my life.

                     Remove the have nots,
                     the can nots, and the do nots,
                     that I have in my mind.

                     Erase the will nots,
                     the may nots, might nots,
                     that might find a home
                     in my heart.

                     Release me from the could nots, 
                     the would nots, and
                     the should nots,
                     that might obstruct my life.

                    And most of all
                              Dear God,
                    I ask that you remove my mind,
                    my heart and my life 'all of the am nots'
                    that I have allowed to hold me back,
                    especially the thoughts,
                    that I am not good enough.
                    (Author known to God)
                   This is such a beautiful prayer to me and
                    it honestly fits me!
                    I wish the author of this prayer had left
                    their name.

                    I was sent this prayer by someone that thinks I am a special person and that grew up in 
                    my neighborhood when I was in jr. high and high school, he came across this and said I
                    was the one he thought of when he read it and had to send it to me. I thanked him very much
                    for sending this to me because I love it so much! It seems to have been written for me because
                    it fits me to a T...with all of the "NOTS" I have carried with me through out my life! And here
                    someone was able to put them in a prayer (for me) is like they knew me.
                    So thank you to the person that wrote this and thank you to Pete for thinking of me and for 
                    telling me you think I am a special person and for sending me this prayer to me!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

First Snow in many years my way!

This is the first time it has snowed
in East Texas in many years,
especially like this.

I got between 8 and 10 ins. and had a blast
playing out in it.
My youngest son (36) finally came out to play with me in the snow. I kept bothering him so he gave in.


We went down to the cabin and I was hoping I would see some of the animals out in the snow but we couldn't get back to the back part so I don't know if any were out or not, but they weren't out in the upper part.

I have lived in areas where the snow was very deep and also when it snowed everything closed down
because you couldn't get any deliveries in or out! For three months no joke you couldn't get groceries or anything else, of course that was back in the late 50's and 60's but still I loved it.

If you have never lived in the places where it snows
you don't know what your missing. Yeah, there is
sometimes a lot of hassel that comes with it, but there is also a lot of beauty, and fun!

 But you get hassel when it rains alot to and have to
be out in it or the wind blowing an awful lot. I have
lived in all of the areas like this and ya learn to deal
with it.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Today's A Beautiful Day

Today has been a beautiful day for me because the weather was so pretty, sunny, light breeze, spring in the air and every where all is alive with buds, blooming flowers, plants and trees.
Green grasses looking like a beautiful thick lush green carpet everywhere you see. So many flowers coming to life in a rainbow of beautiful colors and the trees are blooming and some have already leaved out in the many different colors of greens.
"Gods work is so easy to see and to feel, Gods work is so beautiful and little things remind me of how "wondrously awesome" he is!" I need to see and feel that when things are so hard to deal with and I thank you Lord for letting me see and to feel it. I also thank you Lord for being with me in this
very trying time I'm going through and for giving me the strength that I need and for your help to keep me from breaking, I know I'm strong Lord but I feel my strength waning.
My mother isn't and will not get any better and the last
several weeks have been very hard on her and so hard on my dad and myself. I have finally gotten through with court and have received full guardian- ship over my mother.
A friend of mine said something to me a couple
days ago and shockingly no truer words were ever spoken when she said, "Well so your a first time mother...again" I had not thought of it like that with the full effect of those words when she said that! The sound of those words hit me like a ton of bricks, it is hard to explain how I felt and
the feelings that started to well up inside of me.
My dad is also having more and more problems
with his mind forgetting more or just not remembering or can't think straight and gets confused more. He is having more health problems and now has a hernia in one side of the incision from surgery he had back in Sept. and I found a knot in one side of his stomach yesterday when I was giving him a shot. It isn't a big knot, about the size of a marble and I am trying not to get / be scared or show him any fear and it is hard on top of everything else that is going on. The surgery he had in Sept. was his left kidney being removed because of a huge tumor in it and at the same time his spleen was ruptured and had to be removed also. Now the knot is on the same side and the hernia is growing too. And he is stressing big time about my mother and I can't make it any better no matter how hard I try!
Although I do know in my mind/brain that I can not make it better, in my heart I should be able to make it better some how, some way...this is how I feel. (This is part of life and I guess getting older!)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My mother and Dementia

For the last several weeks my mother has been going through a very difficult time I guess one could say. She has these moments where SHE DOES KNOW exactly what she is doing and saying and she cuts loose with everything and everyone she can...by that I mean she gets MEAN, HATEFUL, UGLY! She knows she is and she hits, bites, kicks, cusses, scratches and will get a hand full of your hair if she can and will pull as hard as she can, she will actually do her best to PULL IT PLUMB OUT!
Mother also knows that there are times when she does have trouble with her talking,walking, expressions of what she wants to say or tries to say; forming whole or complete sentences or and not being able to say a word or name something she is trying to, that there is something wrong with her and she doesn't fully understand at that time just what is going on with her, or she gets so frustrated that she can not figure out the things she wants to. I do know this is hard on her because there truly are times she does not understand and she does get very confused about everything, but as I said I do know she does know at times exactly what she is doing and the nurses at the nursing home where she is all agree with me. They are with her 24/7 month after month and they are going to know these things, but problem is my dad thinks that everything she does when she starts going to bing off the walls, is not her fault, that she really does not know what she is saying or doing even though he has been told by me and the nurses otherwise.
When a person has Dementia or Alzheimer it is so VERY HARD ON THE FAMILY MEMBERS! It is so hard to know what to do and not to do because any little bitty thing you say or do can really set them off! It is worse when you and the person that is sick has never had a good relationship and you're having to taking care of them! By that I mean I was never suppose to take care of my mother if something happened where she had to be taken care of (like now) and when the relationship between the both of you was never a good one and the both of you know it, it gets DAMNED RIGHT HARD TO BE THE CARETAKER OF SOMEONE LIKE THAT!

What are you suppose to do when something like this happens, how do you handle these things, are the decisions you make for them the best decisions to make or are they what needs to be done at the time so you make them and don't worry about it. That's what I do is worry about every blasted decision I have to make for her, I'm thinking totally of her, is this what she would have had done for herself if she were able? Is she going to think I am honestly doing my best in trying to take care of her and is everyone else also? I do not wish this job on anyone at all, it would be HARD ENOUGH even if the relationship was a GREAT one, but if it was not even a GOOD one, to begin with then and now here you are right smack in the middle of it and YOU'RE STILL GETTING BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING...WELL GUESS WHAT YOU ARE JUST SCREWED NO MATTER WHAT, and it doesn't matter if there are other family members, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO DO EVERYTHING, TAKE CARE OF EVERY THING, ISN'T THAT PARR FOR THE COURSE?
No one else is gonna step up to the plate to help WHY SHOULD THEY? My dad certainly can't do it, he is having a hard enough time trying to help me take care of him also, he health isn't good and here lately he has been having a great deal of trouble too. I have kids but it's not my kid's place and they have their families to take care of.
My mother's family is a REAL JOKE on all counts!!! So we all know for a fact no help there unless MONEY IS INVOLVED! (even then don't hold your breath). And that is so sad and so pathetic in every way! I was not ever supposed to take care of my mother, my father yes, not mother and I don't want to now I will not lie about it, but the main reason I don't now is because even though she is sick/ill however you want to say it, she still does me the way she always has, and what hurts so much is she KNOWS SHE IS DOING IT! I am the one there for her, to take care of her, to do the best that I can for her in every way and she is still kicking me in the teeth (and yep I do mean literally at times)!

I am still amongst all of this trying to work at my full-time job, I have lupus and the doctor keeps telling me NO STRESS... NO STRESS, you have got to get rid of the stress in your life! I have to tell you that, that was so good I laughed for a full week with that one, and even now it does give me a good laugh. I don't know of anyone especially nowadays that does not have stress in their lives of so form, shape or fashion. My mother will tell me at different times that she wants what I have...how does she get what I have?
My dad and I figured out what she meant one day when she had just gotten back out of the hospital again what she was talking about when she again said to me I want what you have, how do I get it, I want to believe like you do. I told her I still wasn't sure I understood what she was asking me but if she was asking me about my faith and my believing in God, she to could have it. All she needed to do was to Believe In Christ Jesus and put her Faith in him and ask for him to come into her life, to give her the Faith she needed and to pray to the Lord for his help and for his Grace. I couldn't tell her how to get what I have other than the way I did because I am still what some would say young in Christ myself.

Yes I was baptized when I was young and yes dad took us to church when he was home, but as so many do I stayed here and there but I have found my way back to God and the Lord, but I had help I didn't do it by myself, I had a very close friend at the time that more or less dragged me more times than not kicking and screaming to church and wouldn't give up on me. I honestly didn't know if my mother was saved or not and really still don't, she never took my brother and me to church when my dad was off working, she didn't do a lot of talking about church or the Bible or God.
But my mother was asking me how to get what I had and she wanted it...dad and I looked at each other and just started crying like babies. I told mother to tell God she would have to ask him to come into her heart, to help her, to have faith and to believe, and to pray he would answer her. She would know even with her being so sick. I told her I still screwed up a lot even as hard as I tried not to, I wasn't perfect. She wasn't perfect, no one was perfect except for Christ Jesus, he was the only one! I cried and I cried that day and for many days after that and so did my dad and I was so happy for my mother and for dad and myself.
That was kinda short lived as mother had another bad spell and went back into the hospital again and once again we almost lost her. When she got out I tried to read the Bible to her and talk to her and so did dad but she hasn't wanted any more to do with any conversation of that, she will let someone pray for her though, when they pray she gets well. My mother will never get well, there are many health problems but especially the Dementia will take its total on her and it seems like it is doing that more quickly now.

I will continue to do the best that I can in taking care of my mother even if she doesn't think that I am, I will also continue to take the best care of my dad that I can and I will try with all of my heart, body, and soul to be the best woman in Christ that I can although I know I will fall short at times, and at times my mouth over loads my hummingbird butt, and I will get so mad and upset at certain things especially dealing with my mother (and certain other people), I do pray the Lord will give me the patience, the peace, the grace, and faith I so desperately need now in my "need to be stress free life" (LOL) and help me to be that better person and Christian I NEED TO BE and WANT TO BE!